My name is Andre. I’m a queer-gender international music student from Mexico City. Before coming out in 2017, I never really thought that I was going to be able to do it.
I grew up in a country that always told me that being gay was not something to be proud of, and it was also considered a sin in the religion that was imposed on me. People around me would make jokes about other people from the community and laugh, even my parents, older brother, or others would always try to question me about my sexuality or why I was the way I was. I always denied it because most of the times those questions came from a malicious place, and I was not ready to share it with the world, plus I was trying to figure things out within myself.
I remember just the idea of me telling my parents I was gay would make me feel so sick, anxious, and terrified, not because they weren’t supportive enough, but it was more because we would never talk about queer topics, and whenever they would be brought to the table, it would just be a silly topic to make fun of; so that always made me think coming out was not even an option. It wasn’t until I had my first relationship with a guy that was closeted as well, that we had to go through the same process together and hide it until we felt comfortable enough to start sharing our relationship with our closest friends. We would randomly start kissing in front of them, which now that I think about it, this was a bold move. Most of our friends accepted us, except one person who was homophobic at the time and took some distance.
Coming out to both my parents was something way different. They actually approached me unexpectedly to ask me about my sexuality on a random night while I was about to go to sleep because I had recently invited my now ex-boyfriend, and they said he was acting too nervous and suspicious. It was a long talk that I had been trying to evade for a very long time but it had to happen. After talking for a while my dad asked, “Do you like men?” Then I said, “If you are asking me this, it’s because you are ready for whatever answer I will give you.” He didn’t say anything and he asked again, “Do you like men?” This time I answered, “Yes.”
They started crying because they didn’t fully understand why I was gay or what to think about it. They asked me if I was sure about it and if there was still a chance of being with a woman, which at the time I said yes because I thought coming out as bisexual would not be as “bad”, but I knew I just liked men. After a while, they said it was going to take some time for them to process it but they loved me no matter what.
My younger brother, who was 10 at the time, was very accepting even though he was so young. He has always been a loving, smart, and bright person. On the other hand, my older brother stopped talking to me for a year. This didn’t bother me that much because we never had the best relationship and it was expected from a homophobic and misogynistic man who did not understand simple things about life at the time. However, nowadays we get along well but we are still not that close.
Since then, almost 7 years ago, I have been figuring out who I am, after my true self was repressed and hidden for a huge part of my life. Me coming to Canada helped me find myself in ways I don’t even know how to express. I started wearing makeup and clothes I would have not tried on before and embraced myself even more. I found a passion for makeup that has helped me grow so much and learn more about myself as an artist and as a person, and now I am also studying one of my other biggest passions (music).
Nowadays, I have a very supportive and loving family, boyfriend, and friends. I am a singer, a makeup artist, and now a small content creator who loves sharing their art and their own story inspiring others to be their authentic self without caring about what other people might think or say.
I believe in representation in sharing our own stories because, sadly, we still live in a world where we are not fully accepted and non-minorities often see us as the outcasts or the “weirdos;” so, I find it important that we, as a beautiful community, stick together.
I am aware of my privileges of being a queer person who is now fully accepted by the people around me, but it has taken me 7 years and not everything has been easy. If you are reading this and you are in a difficult situation, remember to take a deep breath and remember that time will heal everything. You are loved and you are not alone. It will get better.