If I were to describe myself from the time I was in the closet, I’d definitely say I was like Rory Gilmore (obviously before they ruined her character). If you’re not familiar with Rory and the show Gilmore Girls, picture an academic overachiever deeply committed to almost all extracurricular activities, especially music, because it was a way for me to distract myself from all my intrusive thoughts.
Growing up in the conservative environment of India, I faced numerous challenges during my childhood. Constant bullying and harassment made it painfully clear that I was "different." To cope with this reality, I threw myself into my studies and extracurricular pursuits.
Fast forward to 2020, when the entire world paused, and we were all in a state of limbo without anywhere to go or anything to do. That's when all that I had been suppressing over the years came to the surface. No matter how hard I tried to avoid it, I had to face it. Even though it took me some time to come to terms with my sexuality, I gradually did. For the first time in my life, I felt unconditionally loved by the people around me for being who I am.
Being myself actually brought me peace because I was no longer masking my true self and subjecting myself to toxicity. Self-acceptance and overcoming fear were the two most important things I learned throughout my journey. I still have bad days and moments of self-doubt, but over time, I've actively sought out resources and tools that empower me. You just have to be patient.
I’ve grown the most from all those negative experiences, and they’ve shaped me into the person I am today: unapologetic, chaotic, and exuberant.