My story of how I came out of the closet can be defined in three stages. First, for some context, I grew up in a country (Peru) where differences can be detrimental to how people see and treat you. I come from a mixed family with divergent opinions; on one side, there is unconditional love, while on the other, there is prejudice and mistreatment towards people they consider "different." I grew up in an environment where appearances and societal perceptions held the most value. Educated in a religious school, these ideals were further reinforced, yet I never felt like I belonged. From a very young age, I knew I was different from my classmates who openly discussed their preferences for boys, while I remained silent about my attraction to girls. It took me a few years to accept myself, but I was fortunate to have a supportive group of friends who allowed me to be myself without judgment.
When I finally accepted myself at the age of 15, I decided to confide in my mother, which was initially comforting as she accepted me. However, she cautioned me against coming out or revealing my identity to others. Over time, I realized that hiding my sexuality was wrong; liking girls did not limit me personally or professionally. The only obstacle was the closed-mindedness of others when they discovered or realized my sexual orientation. For instance, during my youth, I often received comments like "Don't fall in love with me" or disgusted looks from classmates who assumed that my sexuality automatically made me a man.
Then, in my final year of high school at 17, I mustered the courage to come out to the one person I feared the most: my father. His reaction was devastating—he insulted me, disowned me, and even threatened to send me to a conversion camp. He even resorted to physical violence, slapping me when I declared he was no longer my father. For almost a week, he hurled hurtful remarks and demanded I discuss it with my tutor. Unbeknownst to him, my tutor was aware of my intentions to come out. When I sought her support, I broke down in tears. Thankfully, she intervened, and my father ceased his negative behavior. However, he still denies my sexual orientation, clinging to the belief that I will eventually marry a man.
Throughout this ordeal, my mother remained passive, unwilling to acknowledge the abuse I endured, while my brother, fearing my father's wrath, refrained from defending me. Nearly five years have passed, yet familial dynamics remain largely unchanged. While my mother offers limited support, disapproving of my self-expression, my brother remains indifferent to my sexuality. Meanwhile, my father persists in his denial, reacting angrily to my mother whenever I express my preferences – suggesting his friends will label it as shameful. Despite the challenges, I have learned the importance of resilience and self-acceptance. Had I not embraced my identity and found solace in my friends, I would have taken my life at the age of 12. Ultimately, the support of my chosen family is the most important thing.